new years resolutions
For the longest time that I can remember, I always felt that the new year coming around was the most important time of the year. It’s the time to start over, to pick up new things, to improve myself, etc. So, I remember for the majority of high school AND college, I would always get a manicure/pedicure, haircut, wax eyebrows/upper lip, clean up my room, tell myself i’m not going to spend (as much) money, get straight A’s, get a six-pack (HA), and whatever else that was superficial and insignificant. I basically did whatever would make me feel like I was starting over.
And for the first time, this year was different. I’m not quite sure why or what happened but I think a big part of it had to do with the fact that I started working almost a year ago. Because I started working, there were many first’s that progressively made me realize what my values are and where my priorities lie, and I had changed my perspective on my future. For example, for the first time, I took a class that was relevant to the real world and I excelled at it. For the first time, I realized what my career would be. For the first time, I didn’t have a spring break, a summer break, or a 3 week+ long winter break. For the first time, I felt responsible. I worked 2 jobs and took 4 community college classes at the same time. The whole time that I was in high school and college, I never felt responsible enough for my grades (which explains why they were so bad). Even after I graduated undergrad, I felt like I took my time in finding a job and I would always whine to friends, ‘what if no one wants to hire me?’ and ask other stupid questions. It wasn’t until one day after my 2 month break after graduating that I decided to actually apply to jobs. It only took 1 day and I submitted 10 resumes. Over the next few weeks, I was offered more than enough interviews than I could handle, went on a couple of them and landed 3 jobs in one day (luck was definitely on my side during that time). I accepted 2 offers and rejected 1, and of course, that started the hell of it all! Just kidding. Only a little bit of hell. Anyway, I digress. My original point is that I didn’t need to whine to friends or mope around, asking if no one wanted to hire me. All I had to do was get my butt onto our career website and submit resumes. Everyone is looking for cheap labor all the time, and I was willing to accept anything because I didn’t have any experience/internships nor a good GPA. So I thought, who would hire me? I finally realized that none of that matters. Sure, those things matter and are what gets my foot into the door if I want to do it on my own. But, you know what REALLY matters? Networks. Knowing people goes a long way.
Oi, I digress again. My priorities changed because I got this full time job in Southern California. So because I didn’t have breaks anymore, I couldn’t go home to Norcal as often and I realized that I missed my family a lot. I also realized that no work is worth taking home. I also finally realized that I’m capable. I think this is probably the biggest thing that made me mature and grow over the past year. I feel like for my whole life, I had something to prove to anyone and everyone. I had to prove my intelligence, my athleticism, my diligence and commitment.. What I realized was I was only trying to prove these things to myself because I was the only one comparing myself to everyone else. So with those things I did in the past years, I was trying to prove to myself that I’m a new person (with waxed eyebrows, a new haircut, nice nails)— where did that take me? Nowhere and short of $$. I used to say I would get straight A’s but never got them because I never actually committed to it. Before, I would let things bother me just because I felt like other people were always right. But now, I feel as though no one can question my capabilities except for me.
Now, I have a new philosophy about new years resolutions. I remember in high school, we had a college professor who came in to teach a part of my poetry class. (yes, poetry.) He gave a lecture on class about life, in general, and he said, “If something is important to you, you don’t need to write it down, you’ll just do it.” I understood what he said at the time but I didn’t think it was true and I didn’t truly understand until this past year. I had a list of things to do in 2011 and I did almost all of them. The only item I didn’t do was travel to the east coast (but that could happen THIS YEAR!). But it’s true, those things on my “list for 2011” I had stored in my head already and I didn’t need to write it down/type it out. I only had it on my tumblr so that I could cross it off. :] I apply that saying to life, including new years resolutions.
So, this year, I didn’t care to look like a new person starting over. This year, I care about continuing to be the person that I am with some -grown-up- improvements.
Here are my main ones:
1. Floss everyday. (so far, it’s been happening!)
2. Exercise/Lose 10 lbs.
3. Read at least 1 book/month.
4. Try new things (probably need to decide on what exactly.. maybe bartending classes!)
haha “grown-up,” whatever that means.
